Mario the Maniac

 Hi guys,

Sorry for the impromptu blog post, but this week, something happened and I learned things that I should have paid attention to better a long time ago that left me feeling disgusted, as well as horrified and I wanted to finally say my end of things after talking with someone about it. I am sharing this post as a way to confirm some things as someone who has known him for so long. Giving a quick shoutout to the following who have already talked about their shares of this whole situation and know that you guys have my support (the same goes for anyone else that steps forward as well):

• Kay, for being the first to speak.
  
• Queen Kat, for stepping forward
  
• Invisible Davis, for adding onto some of Queen Kat's stuff
  
• Mitch for also explaining some things

I have known him for 20 years of my life, having met him back during ye olde days of Gaia Online. I'm just going to keep things simple here and I'm sure a lot of you guys will be able to fill in the rest from everyone else that came forward:

• Yes. He has always been like this. I've had to deal with it too even when we dated for 6 months. It just wasn't as prominent as it is now and it wasn't this high of a degree and if it was, he hid it well or it had been dormant for quite some time. A lot of this information that's been coming out is familiar to me, while other details are fresh and new.
• No. I knew none of the recent things that has been going on because he never shared anything about his YouTube life with me and was always hush hush about things. Now I know why thanks to Kay and several others that I mentioned above.
• No. I never watched any of his videos and yes, I was in a series or two at one point, both became long discontinued when I broke up with him due to certain reasons. You can do the math there.
• Yes. The original friend group that he had before his YouTube gig (and basically ditched everyone except for me because a long time ago he was obsessed with me for a long time before I chose to date him that brief time) are all pissed and disgusted with him, and now want nothing to do with him.
• Yes. He makes excuses, lies a lot, brushes things off, AND he runs away when he knows he's cooked and knows that he's in serious hot water. I've seen it more than enough times over the years and he never owns up to his shit.

I could say so much more, but this is as far as I will say unless something else happens otherwise. I want nothing to do with him and plan to keep it that way now that everything is out in the open. If anyone else comes forward, I stand with them along with those I mentioned above who had to deal with his inappropriate harassment, as now, looking back on everything, have realized that I myself dealt with some similar things over the years. All the little things that I let slide in the past that were actually things I was never okay with that I never was able to speak up on because at the time, my mental health wasn't in the greatest place (though much better than it has been in years for the most part) and all these little things accumulated to more of a substantial degree than I realize.

For those who worked with Mario, and need confirmation about certain things, you can reach out to me on Twitter/X if there's something that you're unsure about.

Oh, and Mario? All I'm going to say is the following image:

Much love to everyone else! Hope some of this kind of helped without me losing more sleep or having another mental breakdown.

Updates Updates Updates!

 Hello Nightmarian Crew!

    It's been a bit since the last update, but wanted to share a few things that have been going on. First things first: doing much better mentally and emotionally. I still have a lot going on irl, but takings things day by day. On my harder days, been taking time for myself to allow myself to just be, even while burning myself out on both ends. (God I need a vacation lol)

    Streams will be returning to a normal rhythm soon once I'm not consistently exhausted and once the tides have settled a little bit more. But I will hint that there are some amazing things ahead that I've been working on and that I am apart of and I can't wait for the day to be able to share these things with all of you guys!

    Next order of business: Virtual Villagers. As some of you have known from previous streams, I was playing a game series called Virtual Villagers (A New Home and The Lost Children thus far). Each game had a twitch village that we would check up on at the start and at the end of every stream to see how the village was doing. These games will be coming back soon for streams, and I can't wait to bring back a game that brings me joy (and I know quite a few of you enjoyed as well! Don't worry the villagers are fine! They're on pause right now so that way there isn't mass destruction!). Eventually over time there will be other games as well that are nearly similar that I will add to the fun, but for now I hope you continue to join me on this adventure with the twitch villages I have made!

    I also have updates in regards to my OC as well as the Discord Server. At this time, Captain Xel is in the early stages of a redesign that will be more authentic to me as a person as well as her as a character. At this time, any requests to have Xel in artwork is currently suspended unless I give an exception, so I apologize if I do say "no". As much as I love the Captain's current design, I felt like there was time for a change after contemplating some parts of her lore, and as such, I want to be able to do her justice as a character, and as a part of myself. While Xel stands on her own as a character, she still has parts of me that I want to be able to intertwine into her lore and her book series. Please be patient as I go through these stages of revision, and know that the wait will be worth it so stay tuned! (I do also have some other characters that I will introduce over time, so look forward to them as well!)

    As for the Discord Server, I am currently making changes to it in order to shape it into less of a cluttered mess as well as figuring out what else I want to be able to add into it that will make the community thrive more (also thank you to Nero and Pandy for giving some input here and there about a few things! This is why the both of you are two of my Council Members!). I have been working on some notes and plans and have been making subtle changes as I go along once I solidify something, and I can't wait for you all to see what the next form of life the Discord Server will be getting! I want the server to still be a welcoming place for everyone as well as a safe space, and I want us to continue to build this community together! I hope you all will enjoy what I have in store once everything is complete, and I'm very excited for this next stage and to share it with all of you guys! (That does also mean that the rules will get reshaped a bit, sorry everyone!!)

    This is all the updates I have for right now, and thank you so much for being patient as I start to write the next chapter of amazing things ahead! Let's continue to be the best damn crew on the sea, and know that I am grateful for each and every one of you guys! Until next time!

This art was created by the amazing Kosmostars! (unfortunately I don't have socials for them, sorry! :c )

Uphill Battles Ahead

 Hey everyone. . .

I know it's been awhile since I've actually been around and active, and I wanted to apologize for my sudden disappearance. . .I am extremely sorry for leaving with no warning, but what can you do when the world turns upside down, overwhelms you, and brings you to the brink of your mental health?

I am still in a long battle with my depression right now, which is why I am deciding my stream schedule becomes sporadic again. Most of my streams will be low energy or no mic for now, and I ask everyone still continue to respect my privacy. I am not answering any questions, so please don't push as it's nobody's concern when it come to what's behind closed doors. I have many demons to face and must face them on my own, and it will be some time before I have some form of normal. I don't know when my next stream will be just yet, so please be patient as I try to get back into a better headspace and take accountability for my actions by processing, resetting, and learning.

I am extremely sorry for feeling like I am failing all of you guys. The constant cancellations, the constant disappearing. This community is built on love and care, and will continue to be as such. I want to continue to tend the gardens and bring you all joy, but it's hard for me to do that when I cam like this right now. I understand if a lot of you are disappointed with me as well as upset with me, and you all have every right to be. I feel like I've let a lot of you down and I feel like I let a lot of my inner circle down as well. . .I know I should be better than a lot of things lately, and slowly I'm taking the steps to get to where I want to be and where I need to be mentally and emotionally. Honestly, I'm even disappointed with myself, which makes it hard for me to even function on some days to where all I really want to do is just lay in bed and pretend that the world doesn't exist.

But if I did that, then where would I end up right?

No amount of apologies can undo things that have been done and no words of "I'm trying" can mend things. The only way to mend things is progress, acceptance of mistakes, and truly learning from them. I want to thank several people who reached out to me lately (and gods I wish I hard art with everyone, but I do with a couple of them) to make sure my mental state didn't take a turn for the worst through all this time that I have been taking a break (and will still be doing so until I feel like I am fully ready to be back).

Massive love to Nero, Doom, Mike, Cirex, Isa, Tim, Julia, Dee, Sarah, and Lane for being stubborn and making sure I had a support system through all of this. You made this large world feel less lonely and dark and I couldn't be more grateful for the distractions when I needed to get my mind somewhere else for a bit.

Things will get better, at least, that's what I'm telling myself, and going forward I am going to do my damndest to get to that better version of myself in this rough journey. All it takes is time, effort, love, and self care. I hope you all continue to enjoy your time here on the ship, and I'll be fully back before you know it. Sending all my love to you my Nightmarian Crew.

With love from your favorite Demisexual/Demiromantic Pirate (happy pride month),

Xel

Art of Nero and I from KJComics

Art of Doom and I made by Melle-D

This art piece of Cirex and I was made by Cirex Himself

New Twitch Redeems and Virtual Villagers!

Hey Nightmarian Crew!

Got a fun thing to introduce to the twitch streams! Say hello to the Virtual Villagers games, a game series that is near and dear to my heart and was something that Captain Mom and I would play together all the time! With this game series comes new twitch redeems so I hope you're ready!

What is Virtual Villagers?

Virtual Villagers is a life/sim game where you raise a village and uncover the secrets the island of Isola may have! The goal basically is to have the village survive and thrive through strategic planning with tech points a bunch of other things! This is just the short and sweet answer!

What New Channel Redeems are being added?

New Channel Redeems are as follows:

• Get a Villager Named After you!: Plain and simple. It's not going to be your full username, but what you want your villager to go by. For example (hi Daichi! We're going to use you as my example!): If your username is DaichiTatsuo, you can either have your villager go by "Daichi" or "Tatsuo".
• Choose your Villager's Career!: There are various careers that you can choose for your villager. Which one you decide is up to you! (Please note: please redeem once per career, and please try to only redeem twice for now! I want your villager to at least master two of them before you can choose a third!)
  Which jobs are there exactly? Well allow me to explain!
• Farming: The Farming Career is simple, in which your villager will become the food gatherer for the village! This is an important job, as food is what will make the village survive and thrive! Without enough food, the villagers can die of starvation!
• Building: The Building Career is important, as there are some areas in the village where you either need to clear things out, build huts, and more!
• Research: Researchers help gain "Tech Points", which are used to upgrade the village in order to make the population thrive! Without enough things upgraded, the Village could suffer, which we don't want!
• Healing: Healers are important as Villagers CAN get sick! If they stay sick for a prolonged period of time, the villager can die. Children can also become healers, even though children can't pick a career until they reach the age of 14!
• Breeding: This career is known as the Parent career! Parents help the population and increase chances of a female villager having children easier. In addition, some of these games have it where your parent villager can tell stories to the children of the village!
• Choose your Villager's "other pair": For a thriving village, it's important to increase the population! Redeeming this, you choose which villager you want to "pair" with. (If you want the blunt version: CHOOSE A VILLAGER TO FUCK AND MAKE BABIES). Sorry ya'll, there's no same gender pairings in this unfortunately. 😅Please also bear in mind that this will also take me some time, as we don't want to overpopulate the village right away!! Doing so will put a strain on the food supply if the resources aren't upgraded enough yet!
  
  Also as a side note: I have a right to say no/pick someone else depending on the villager's age, so please bear that in mind! I will also be keeping a detailed track on who the parents of the children are. Got it?

How Will This Work?

The way this will be added to the stream is simple. While I am streaming the game of the day depending on what I put on my schedule, I will have the game playing at 2x speed for however long that I stream. At the end of stream, we will pull up the game up to see what is going on with the village. There are time where there will be events, and, depending on if the villager is named by someone already, that person will have the opportunity to make the decision themselves! However, if said person is not in stream, then I will make the decision for them so make sure you stay tuned for the end of stream for the village's updates! When off stream, I will either pause the game (which I can do if we don't want anything to happen!) or, if we want to see what happens next, I can keep the game at 1/2 speed (which will still make the village function, but at a slower pace). If you are a part of the discord, we can also determine whether or not you guys want a start and end stream check-in (which means if the game was running at 1/2 speed the previous stream, then we can check on the villagers before we begin and set the pace to 2x speed) or if you want an end stream only check in (which means if the game was paused, I'll start the game up again at 2x speed and check how things are at the end.

If you would like to learn more information about this fun game series as well as other games the developers have made, check out their website here on what other games they have made!

I will also be adding three more of their game series into my streams in the future (once I buy them of course!), so stay tuned for a future announcement from me on when I do! I figured I would start off with this game series first as it's one that I still enjoy to this day, and I'm super excited to play it again and share it with you all as a community (plus participation! Who doesn't love that?).

This game will be implemented the next time I stream, as I need time to set the redeems up as well as some possibly new sound alerts that I want to add! What the sound alerts may be, well, you'll have to wait and see!

That's it from me for now. I'm also still taking things day by day and things have been a bit tough but hanging in there! Until then Nightmarian Crew!

This photo is from the Virtual Villagers: A New Home starting screen!

Mental Health Update as well as Future Plans

 Hey Nightmarian Crew,

I know that it's been awhile since I have been extremely active when it comes to streaming, to my socials, to all of it really. For that, I apologize since that's not usually my style to keep quiet and not give a full update on where I stand and how I am feeling. A lot has been going on, some stuff I prefer to keep private for my own reasons, but know that I'm slowly trying to get myself into a better place day by day.

For streaming currently, I don't have a full schedule like I said I would because of how bad my mental health got. For now, I'm only going to stream when I feel like I'm at my best. I could end up streaming 3-4 days a week. I could end up streaming 1-2 days a week. It all depends on where I am during my healing journey. If things change, there will be another update, but for now, I feel like this is the best course of action so that way pressure doesn't cause my mental health to slip.

For the other socials, I'm currently building up some stuff to post so that way I have things for each one. In addition, once I feel like I'm in a good place when it comes to my content, I will have a social media schedule that will match it. I want to be able to give you all the best content and I want to be able to give you all things to enjoy seeing. I can't wait to share what I have planned once I have it all put together, so know that there are some things that are being worked on behind the scenes as I give everything a fresh coat of paint.

There are a few other personal matters that I am also taking care of behind the scenes as well all while working my day job, but I want to thank everyone again for being so patient, kind, and loving as I try to get through everything as much as I can. It truly does mean the world to me as I navigate everything and everyone has been super sweet.

Until then my Nightmarian Crew. I will see you all in the next update once I have one. Just continue to bear with me and know that everything I'm planning will be worth the wait.

As always, art by Melle-D

Happy New Year! Let's Talk About What's Ahead!

 Hello Nightmarian Crew, and Happy New Year and a prosperous 2026 ahead!

So I thought I would share a few thoughts that I had from the last time that I did a blog post. I have a lot to revamp still when it comes to the server, so within the next couple of months I want to try to get the rest of the server renovations finished. The directory will also be updated as well with any new forums that have been made.

I also noticed that I haven't fully been able to work on a schedule for both streaming and content, and for that, I want to apologize. 2025 certainly was a difficult year for me, with a lot of unexpected things happening to me that effected my mental and emotional well being, so some days have been harder than others because of it. This coming year, I have the plans to continue to work on myself mentally and emotionally while fulfilling as much as I can to bring you more content and more things to share!

New games will be streamed here and there from what was voted in the discord! I want to work better at having a consistent schedule for you all as much as possible (day job hours willing) so that way I can continue to spread the joy I have when it comes to the things that I love! In addition, I want to start expanding out when it comes to stuff that I enjoy, so that way there's more content for you all to enjoy! What I have in store however, well, you have to wait and see.

I have several goals this year as well that I would also like to share with you all. Those goals are the following:

• The goal for twitch is to get to at least 500 by the end of this year. Think we can do it? ;)
  
• Get more content out on my socials for you all to enjoy!
• Get a consistent schedule going for you all!
• Do more collabs with friends and others!
• Get the rest of the server fully revamped.

These are the main goals that I have, and I can't wait to see what adventures await! I hope you all will continue to follow me on this beautiful journey and let's make this year as productive and self loving as possible! Thank you for everyone who continues to support and follow my shenanigans, and let's continue to make the best community ever!

And as always, continue to enjoy your time on the ship!

With love, Xel

Art by the marvelous Melle-D

Future Gaming Plans

 Hey Nightmarian Crew! It's time for another update on stuff that I'm going to be doing!

This particular update is going to be focused on some of the games that I want to stream and share with you all! I also wanted to start having designated nights for specific games in order to have some more variety, so that way we can still have a series on the twitch channel, but also have a mix of other things to just vibe and enjoy chatting. Please note that not everything is set in stone yet, but in a future update I will inform everyone when things are more solidified.

For casual/chill games on the docket, I have the following planned out for right now:

• Core Keeper (which will also fit under multiplayer)
• Luma Island (which will also fit under multiplayer)
• Placid Plastic Duck Simulator
• Powerwash Simulator (which will also fit under multiplayer)
• The Sims 4
• Spirit of the North
• Stardew Valley
• Storyteller
• Tiny Glade
• A Game About Digging a Hole
• Plague Inc: Evolved

For Story Driven Games on the docket, I have the following planned out for right now:

• Mass Effect Andromeda (Next on the docket after Mass Effect 3!)
• Bioshock Infinite
• Crash Bandicoot N' Sane Trilogy
• Cult of the Lamb (which will also fit under multiplayer)
• Deltarune
• Undertale
• Dragon Age II
• Dragon Age: Origins
• Graveyard Keeper
• Potion Permit
• Life is Strange: Before the Storm
• Little Nightmares II
• Rise of the Tomb Raider
• Sonic Frontiers
• Sonic Origins
• Tomb Raider
• Ty the Tasmanian Tiger

Finally, for Co-Op/Multiplayer games that I will play with others I have the following planned for now:

• 7 Days to Die
• Abiotic Factor
• Ale & Tale Tavern
• Dead by Daylight
• Enshrouded
• Golf with Friends
• Lethal Company
• REPO
• Gunfire Reborn
• Helldivers 2
• Peak
• Phasmophobia
• Sea of Thieves
• UNO
• V Rising

The following Games I will be unable to play at this time until a new graphics card is obtained, and thusly, will be on pause:

• Dragon Age Veilguard
• Elden Ring Nightreign
• Stray
• The Headliners

The following games will be continued in the future:

• The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog
• Dragon Age Inquisition
• Have a Nice Death

That's currently all I have for right now on the dockets, though I do have more games here and there (as a majority of these are from my steam. I still have quite a few on other gaming platforms such as Amazon, GOG, Epic, and Legacy). Again look forward to what I plan for my weekly streaming in a future update!

As always, enjoy your time on the ship!

The Future of the Discord Server

 Hey Nightmarian Crew!

So in this update, I wanted to talk more about what the future of the Discord server is going to look like. I'm going to explain things in sections, so strap in and let's get started!

Please also note that these changes will take some time, so some things will be moved around here and there! There are going to be certain categories for certain roles as well, to make things more inclusive to those in the server as we continue to grow the community!

Rules

The rules are going to be updated. Some of them are going to be the same. As a refresh on what rules are currently, they are the following:

1. Don't be a dick. At least, don't be the kind of dick that causes problems.
2. Please be respectful of one another. You are allowed to speak your opinions, and there's room for healthy debates only. Let's try to make friends.
3. No talks of politics, real life events (you know, the news you see on TV that kind of stuff), or Religion. Some people aren't comfortable with discussions of these topics.
4. There is ZERO TOLERANCE for harassment. If there is someone making you uncomfortable in this server, please notify me or one of the main crew immediately.
5. No Trauma or Drama. Leave it off the ship. Any disrespect to anyone in my community is an immediate disrespect to me. The moment that disrespect happens whether here or on stream, will lead to straight blacklisting with no second chances.
6. No boundary pushing. When someone says stop, you stop.
7. Please follow Discord ToS. (This should be a given).
8. If I am unavailable, please refer to the Main Crew for any questions that you may have. If I am also unavailable for a duration of time, Pixel will be in charge of the server on my behalf. Do not disrespect any of these people. (See rule 5)
9. Please do not spam massive walls of text in the chat. As much as I love novels, others may not as much.

The following rules are going to stay the same: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, and 9.

The following rules will be updated: 5 and 8.

Some of the new rules being added (as well as edited rules) will be as follows:

• Please do not ask for specific roles. The Main Crew and I will decide them for you. There will be a roles channel where you can react for certain things, but special roles are granted by us, final say being by me.
• If you're going to vent, please make sure you're in the appropriate channel for it. Also if your venting has triggers, please ensure that there is a spoiler to cover it as to keep the community safe. The one thing you CANNOT vent about is if it has to do with a specific person.
• NO DRAMA. Leave it off the ship. Resolve things in private if you have a problem with someone, but do not drag your dirty laundry into this server! This will lead to warnings, before leading to a ban!
• DO NOT disrespect anybody here in this server! The moment that disrespect happens whether on here or on stream will lead straight to blacklisting with NO second chances!
• If I am away, the Main Crew along with Pandy is in charge. Announcements will be made by them if I am unable to myself.

I am also going to be adding some rules when it comes to wanting art with my OC. If you ever have any questions, please feel free to ask me via DM. There may be additional rules that will be added, but for now, these are the ones that will be currently.

Roles

There are going to be some new roles that will be added, and all the ones that are currently there will stay the same. The following roles will now be added:

NEW NSFW ROLE: Seductive Scallywags
That's right! It's finally happening! This role should be self explanatory. This particular role is for 18+ PEOPLE ONLY. There are going to be various categories that you will be able to post in, so I hope you all are ready to head below deck for a good time! My Main Crew will ask for confirmation when it comes to this particular role, so we ask that you are HONEST about your age when wanting this NSFW role!
VIP members please note!: Your nsfw forum will be staying the same! Inner Circle members will also have a nsfw to share with JUST those in the inner circle able to see it!

NEW ARTIST ROLE: Pirate Painters

Anyone who is an artist will be given this role here! Artists will have their own little hub category to show off their work, promo themselves, and make connections when it comes to commissions!

In addition, I will be adding a bot for some of the roles to make things a little bit easier for some of you guys as well, and will most likely have it as a way for you guys to react to the rules. There may be more roles that will be added in the future, but for now, these two are the main roles that will be adding to the bunch that I have.

New Channels and Categories

New channels will be added into the server as well as new categories. What they will be, well, you will have to find out when I do make them! Just know that there is a lot of fun stuff ahead in regards to making the community more inclusive, so just pay attention to the ship directory for more information as the discord server goes under some reconstruction!

Please note that these changes will take some time, but I look forward to sharing these changes with all of you guys! I hope we can continue to create an amazing and inclusive environment for all and please continue to enjoy your time on the ship!

Art by Melle-D!

The Social Media Breakdown

 Hey Nightmarian Crew!

As promised in the previous update, here is a breakdown on how I will be using all of my socials in the future. There is still no definitive on what my social media schedule is going to be as of yet, but I will inform you all in a future Captain's Decrees announcement as well as under my about on the discord.

The following social medias I plan to use, and what I will be using them for:

• Bluesky, X, Facebook Page (maybe might use, unsure), and Threads: These are mostly going to be just the regular twitch stream announcements of when I go live, as well as some other regular social media posts that I want to share. I will also be reposting things that I like, so that way you guys get to see a bit more of who I am as a person!
• Gaia Online: This website is how I met a couple of my internet friends, is a social media site that gives me a lot of nostalgia. This website will mostly be used for a guild that I'm slowly building, and for more ways that my followers can interact with me and others in the community while also branching out to other fun things that this website has to offer! You can customize your own avatar on there to match your personality, and they also have different forums and games for you all to check out!
• Instagram: This is where I'm going to share some fun things from my day to day life as well as share the art I get of my Captain, and I do have various accounts so if you see two different NightmarianXel accounts, then yes, both of them are mine, but my Linktree has the one for most of my streaming and art sharing things (and yes, I still have to update it all). I also have an additional account for just my writing stuff, so feel free to check them out.
• Tumblr and Deviantart: These places is where I will be sharing screenshots for the games that I play on either PC or Switch. I have A LOT of screenshots to share, especially during my times playing Halo with a bunch of my friends on xbox. I hope you all will enjoy the future content on that!
• YouTube (this one won't be for awhile): This is where I will be sharing all of my VODS from my streams. I know that YouTube has been doing a lot of odd changes lately, which is why I haven't posted anything as of yet. But once I know everything in detail then I will post them on there. For now, all VODS are currently stored away safely (every. single. one of them.)
• Kick and Rumble (future things!): I figure now is a good time as any to announce that I do have a kick account and a Rumble account! These ones are probably going to be my podcast streaming channels when I plan on what I want the podcasts to be about. So prepare for future updates on these somewhere down the road!
• Throne: This is an obvious. If you want to gift things, you are more than free to, but it is not required at all. I just like having it as a fun thing, and you sort of get to know me more on my likes and stuff to to be honest lmao. I update this thing a lot.
• Kofi: I do have a kofi now! It's not fully operational just yet, but will have some stretch goals for that soon enough! More information in the future will follow in regards to this!

So this has been the update on how the socials will be used, and again, please keep your eyes out in the future for what the social media schedule will look like! Later on this week, I will be sharing more on the discord server and what things will be looking like for that, and what I will be adding and more definitive on what each role represents as well as what rules will be added and what other ones will be edited. Stay tuned also for another blog post next week on what games I want to be able to stream and share with you guys! 

Until then Crew, please continue to enjoy your time on the ship!

Art by Melle-D!

Massive Update Ahoy

Hello Nightmarian Crew!

I thought that I would provide an update (well, MASSIVE update) on some of the things that are going on and what is ahead. Again, I want to thank my tribe for being there for me during my lowest days and when I needed a shoulder to lean on as well as cry on. You guys have been there for me in a time where things felt like it was my darkest, and even now you guys have been there when I have my bad days where it's hard to get out of bed. You guys truly are my family, and I don't know where I would be right now if I didn't have anybody to turn to.

I will talk more about my mental, physical, and emotional health shortly, but first, there are several other things I would like to talk about first.

For starters, I would like to talk about some upcoming stuff. This month, as well as September and October, I have a week off of my day job for vacation that is long LONG overdue. Thusly, that means there is the likelihood of more streams ahead while I have this time off, so let me break down the following:

August 25-30 is my first vacation. Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday there will be no streams, but all the other days I am more than likely to stream for long periods of time depending on what my plans are going to be for the day. Of course, I will update everyone on when these streams will happen in the discord, so pay close attention to Captains Decrees for announcements.

September 8-13 will be my second vacation. Saturday there will be no stream, as I will be out of town on that day. However, there might be a chance that I will stream on some of the other days pending.

Lastly, October 20-25 is my final vacation for the year before the holiday season. Depending on when Pixel and I move to a new apartment layout, will depend on how much I will be able to stream. The answer is yes, Pixel and I are still going to be living together for those who asked the question before and for those who were thinking about asking. Again, I request that you all continue to respect both mine and Pixel's boundaries as well as our privacy when it comes to personal matters.

As for social media when it comes to my vacations? Well, that's something you all will have to wait and see, but I have a few ideas that are rolling in the back of my head in the meanwhile.

Next is a health update. I am in full swing with my focus on my physical, mental, and emotional health. I've been spending time allowing myself to be when I don't have the energy to socialize, and I've been making sure to take care of myself by focusing on some of the things that I love. Whenever there's something I need to talk about with my therapist, I write it in a journal and sometimes I just write what's on my mind in order to help me along on my journey of emotional independence as well as focusing on a healthier me! I know that there are still going to be bumps along in the journey, but day by day I allow myself to focus on what is important as well as continuing being my authentic self.

Another thing I wanted to touch base on is the Captain Quarters Discord server. I will slowly be working on changes when it comes to some things, as well as adding new stuff as well. There will be new channels, new roles, updated rules, as well as other future things. In addition, my social media schedule will be getting a massive overhaul once I figure out a few things, so stay tuned for other future updates in regards to information on these! I will also be providing an update in about a week or so in regards on what each of my socials will be focused on, so that way all of you guys have an idea on what to expect!

Finally, there's streaming. What is that going to look like for me, what games will I be planning to stream, as well as what my schedule will be. There is no schedule fully at the moment when it comes to streaming, though I do want to be able to go back to streaming frequently like I was before. Again, there will be announcements when I will be streaming and around what time that stream will take place. As for games, Mass Effect and Dragon Age will continue to be two of the main ones I play, though Veilguard is still a no go at the moment until I can get a graphics card that will be able to handle its beauty. There are a few other games that I want to be able to share with you all, and this will also be in a future blog update as well once I have a solid lineup. I do have some future goals when the community gets bigger, which is also something that I will be sharing with you all soon, but I wanted to share some of the main points first while I still figure some things out.

So yeah, that's some of the things I thought I would let everyone know about, and definitely stay tuned for other updates on some of the things that I have mentioned! Thank you all for the love and the patience that you have given me and still continue to give me during a time like this, and I can't wait to share more of my future plans with you all!

Continue to enjoy your time on the ship, and I will see you all in the next blog post!

Beautiful artwork as always by Melle-D

A Melancholy Update and Future Plans

 Hey everyone,

I wish that I was writing this on happy terms, but sadly, not everything can be sunshine and rainbows.

As of July 28, 2025, it is with heavy heart that I announce that both Pixel and I are no longer dating. This is painful for both sides, so please respect our privacy as we try to navigate through this tough chapter in our lives. The only thing I will say on the subject is that both of us need to focus on ourselves mentally, and being in a relationship was preventing us from being able to grow our love to the galaxies and beyond. Please also respect that neither of us are interested in dating at this time, as we need to focus on tending the gardens of our own self love. We are surrounding ourselves with loved ones as we try to navigate these paths for ourselves, and should anything change, we will be sure to update all of you. 

Please continue to give the both of us the love and support that you, our communities, still continue to share with us, and we thank each and every one of you for how amazing everyone has been when it comes to our content. When Pixel and I have had our time to grieve and transition into these next hard steps, please be patient with us when it comes to returning with a stream schedule, the future of our servers, as well as adjustments when it comes to several other things.

I will say in advance that the following redeems will no longer be available on my twitch:

• Bother the Kitsune Wife
• Fluster the Kitsune Wife
• Spook the Wife

What will this also mean for future content? That is something I don't quite know just yet. Once the dust settles and once everything is set in stone, I will be sure to update everyone on what will happen. There are some future projects that were also being planned, but due to these events, those are also on pause as well. I still plan to share screenshots of games that I play on stream as well as other games that I play in my spare time, and those will be on my tumblr and my deviantart once I collect all of them. (There is A LOT of them. Trust me. I wish I was joking.)

As always, enjoy your time on the ship, or, for others, please continue to enjoy your time in the teashop, and we send our love to you, our communities.

And of course, this amazing art created by the marvelous Melle-D

Future Social Media Plans

 

Hello Nightmarian Crew!

    It's been awhile since I actually did a full update when it comes to socials, and I want to start changing that. I have so many platforms to utilize, and I want to start to process of using them more so that way we can continue to grow the community all while keeping things interesting and fun! I still find great joy that we fully surpassed 100 followers on Twitch in less than 6 months, which to me is a great accomplishment in itself! Day by day we grow the Nightmarian Crew and stream by stream we continue on these fun and crazy adventures in games that bring me complete and utter joy while you, the viewers, enjoy being with me all the while. Your neverending support means the world to me, and with that, I can't thank you all enough!

    So, let's talk my social media platforms! It is with great excitement that I announce that I will be assembling all of the screenshots that I have taken over the years and showcasing them for all of you guys to see! These screenshots will be posted on both Deviantart (which I haven't used in years, but was a platform that would bring me joy) and Tumblr (another platform I used to haunt a long time ago that also would bring me joy, Tumblr will also have some other goodies eventually too not just screenshots!). I have A LOT of them, so I hope you guys will enjoy some of the things I would do as well as see why some of these games brought me great happiness when I would play them (and one day, I hope to go back to playing them, but that's a story for another day!). Please feel free to give me a follow on both Deviantart as well as Tumblr if you guys want to see these screenshots! I hope you like them as much as I had when I took them!

    Next, my Instagram. So for starters, I have two of them, one personal and the other for other stuff. The main one where all of my Streaming stuff as well as art that I get done will be on the one labeled NightmarianXelGames. I may also post some artsy photos that I do myself, but that's something I'm still trying to mull over. More information about Instagram stuff will be updated soon.

    We also have Gaia Online, which is actually a website where I found three longtime friends of mine! For those who know Doom, Sixx/FreelancerMichigan, and Sol the Sunbear/MarioMania, I met these three in Middle School on this platform and it's another website that still brings me joy here and there. Please feel free to click on the link in my linktree if you want to join the world of Gaia and check out what different things the website has to offer! They have forums, games, and you can customize an avatar to match your style! There's nothing short of anything on there, and there are plenty of ways to connect with people on there too (and no, I'm not sponsored by them lol. It would be pretty sweet if I did one day though!). Definitely check them out and maybe you'll find others that like the same things as you!

    The other socials that I'm still in progress of mulling over are my Threads, Facebook Page, as well as YouTube channel. Threads might just be similar to what I'm doing on Bluesky and X, same thing with my Facebook Page once I actually get to updating things. The YouTube Channel on the other hand will probably take some time still, but once I fully get things situated with that, there will be a separate announcement for it. For now, that's everything you guys need to know on what I'm planning and I hope you all look forward to all the future content that I'll be working on!

    As always, enjoy your time on the ship and I can't wait to continue this adventure with you all! Oh! And don't forget that there's tea to be had with D&Tea, the tea company that I am affiliated with!

    If you would like to purchase some tea and are a massive tea fan, please be sure to click here to check out what kind of stock they have! Their tea is delicious and I might be ordering myself some more when I run out. I recommend the Shadowfell Slumber if you like fruity tea (and I always make my fruity tea strong because I love it that way lol).

    Welp, now that I did my advertising, I'm off to plan some more! Until then Nightmarian Crew!

This art is by Melle-D!

Affiliate Status, Scheduling, and More!

 

Image by Katticus

    Hello Nightmarian Crew!

    First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who has followed and supported me during my streams and have also started to follow me on my socials! Your support means a lot and it just means that you all have been enjoying the content that I have been creating! From your support, I have finally reached Twitch Affiliate status and I can't wait to continue this journey and adventure together with you all as we move forward with growing a supportive community that everyone enjoys! I shall continue to keep sharing content as well as keeping you all up to date on everything that I'm doing! There will be an affiliate stream planned, just currently ironing out what I want to do for it and once I have everything solidified, then I'll send an announcement out!

    If you haven't joined the discord server yet, you can click on this link here! My discord server is where you can find all of my updates as well as interact with other community members too!

    In addition to becoming an Affiliate, that means I'll be starting to plan out a stream schedule each week! Stream scheduling will begin the week of January 12. At the current moment with my work schedule, as well as still dealing with apartment stuff, I'll be narrowing down to streaming 3 days a week until everything is fully completed. Who knew that moving would take so long right? But it's been a wonderful first month in the apartment. Pixel and I couldn't be happier, and we can't wait to continue our future together in this brand new chapter of our lives!

    As I gain more followers and continue with a schedule for both streaming and social media, I'll eventually come up with some other fun things to do with you, the Nightmarian Crew! There's also a lot of trips and projects I have planned this year as well, and 2025 is looking to be an amazing year in general! I can't wait to share what else that I've been up to, but for now, these are some of the bigger things that are happening at this current time.

    Thank you again for your support and continue to enjoy your time here on the ship Crew! Until the next update!

A New Chapter and Future Plans

    Hello Nightmarian Crew!

    So I've been a little bit quiet on my end, mostly in part because a lot of things in real life are happening all at once, and of course it being the holidays as well as a few other variables, it's been keeping me stressed. As of recent, with the help of Pixel and a few other friends, I got out of a toxic situation that wasn't really doing my mental health any good. It's a long story, I would rather not explain in full detail due to personal reasons, but just know that it wasn't a good place for me mentally and it was making it hard for me to grow and thrive as a person. The way I left obviously wasn't really the best, but it was what had to happen in order for me to continue to grow as a person and be able to get myself into a better mental headspace.

    Which leads to what I had recently said on Bluesky: Pixel and I are in the process of moving in together, and we do have an apartment. However, we have to wait until renovations are fully finished before we can continue moving stuff in. So while we wait, we have been making plans on what we're going to do as well as planning streams and other content that we want to share with all of you guys! Pixel and I can't wait to continue this exciting chapter together while also continuing to grow and spread love through our communities while also creating content that makes us happy!

    Also, for those who are in my Discord Server know that I have already planned my very first game that I will be doing a FULL playthrough of on my Twitch Channel. The game is Dragon Age: The Veilguard! The Dragon Age series (as well as Mass Effect!) have always been games that I have held near and dear to me, and experiencing Veilguard for the very first time with you all is going to be amazing! Also, special thing when it comes to these streams: Face Cam WILL BE ON so all of you can see my genuine reactions to everything that happens in this game! Look forward to these streams starting next month once I'm fully settled into the apartment! I will also be customizing both Rook and the Inquisitor (as voted by those in the server) on the stream, so look forward to that too!

    A lot of amazing content coming up, so get ready Nightmarian Crew! Until then!

Artwork by Melle-D!

 

A Formal Introduction About Me

 Let's Get To Know Your Captain!

Artwork by Melle-D!

First off, welcome aboard the ship and becoming one of the Nightmarian Crew!

    You can either call me Xel, Xerrica, or Captain (whatever you prefer). You may be wondering, what inspired me to be a Content Creator? Well, allow me to go more in-depth with it rather than the simple introduction that I shared on my discord server.

    I am a woman of many different talents, and of course many different passions. I like singing, gaming, crafts, and most importantly, writing to name a few! I've always grown up with the arts around me, and I always like finding more creative ways to show exactly what I'm capable of. Allow me to break some things down for you all:

• Let's start with gaming. I've been a gamer since I was a little girl. I always found interesting fascination with it. Some of my family members had various consoles such as the Nintendo 64, the Atari, the NES, the original Xbox, and the SNES. I would literally be on a small ladder just to play Duck Hunt when I was about 5 years old. As I got older, I started branching out with different other video games, getting a GameBoy Advance by the time I was about 7 or 8. That's when I started getting into games more and more, and over the years ended up getting a Nintendo DS, Nintendo 3ds, Xbox 360, Xbox One, and Nintendo Switch to name a few consoles that I have (and I even still have my old gameboys too!). Gaming will always be one of my favorite things to do, even more now that I have a gaming laptop.
• Then there's the singing. A lot of my friends have always told me that I have a tendency to eat the Canary seeds. Singing is something that I've always enjoyed and have always had a drive for since I was in Middle School. I was a part of my school's Chorus from Sixth Grade alllll the way to my Senior Year of High School. If you think I'm a Soprano, think again. I have more of a comfortable range when it comes to lower notes, which makes me an Alto. One day, I do want to be able to write and sing my own music, so that will be something to look forward to one day!
• We're not going to talk about my artsy side, or more lovingly referred to as my crafting side. Okay. . .we actually are going to talk about it. There are various types of artsy media that I like to do, once I actually get inspiration for the long list of projects that I have in my docket. I like to draw (when I have an idea. Not too great at it since I need to practice more), do bullet journal stuff, make fake terrariums, paint, and do scrapbooking to just name a few of the things that I have. We would be here all day if I told you what other crafting projects I have up my sleeve, so you're better off just waiting to see what I share lol.
• Finally, the topper that tops them all, my passion and love for writing! Storytelling is something that I've always enjoyed the most, and I have been writing since I was in Middle School, and even have a Bachelor's Degree in English/Creative Writing. The genres I mostly write are Steampunk, Sci-Fi, and Fantasy with some dark romance. Over time though I might delve into other genres, but those are my main favorites. I've also done poetry, but my main specialization is Fiction writing. I practically breathe writing almost every day, as it's something that I love and storytelling will always be the thing that brings me joy.

    So, why exactly am I sharing all of this? For starters, I want to be able to inspire others to pursue the things they love. Uplifting others and creating a loving and healthy community is one of the biggest things that I aspire to do. Everyone should be able to pursue the things they love and are passionate about, and having a strong support system of others helping others I find is one of the most beautiful things in the world. I want my community to join me on this journey together, because spreading kindness is important rather than spreading drama.

    Eventually, I might do a Q&A once the community grows bigger, so for now this is a little bit about who I am and I hope for those who read this continue to follow me on my adventures!

The Chart Ahead

 Hey Everyone!

I know I’m still on a hiatus, but I thought I would give an update on my mental headspace, as well as a few other things and it's still leaving me in a very dark place at the moment. There’s a few things I’m still trying to wrap my head around, most of it personal that should remain private, as matters are being settled privately. Please know that once everything is set, I will return, which should be in approximately a week so thank you for being patient at this time.

Now, onto the next thing!

As word got to me about Stream Team shutting down, it didn’t feel right for me to not say anything and let you guys know where to find me, via my social links. I do plan to have my own discord up and running soon, and will announce when it’s ready. All you gotta do is pay attention to my socials when I announce them (and going to do my best to keep track of everything! Life has been busy and my brain has been scrambled a lot lately!)

If you are looking for my socials, here is my LinkTree (and plan to make a caard soon): https://linktr.ee/nightmarianxel

Much love to all of you! I'll be back before you know it once everything is settled! Don't forget to support and give love to all of your favorite streamers!

This beautiful art? Yeah right here? Made by the Marvelous Melle-D. You can find her at this link right here: https://melled.carrd.co/